Musings from a Concerned Adolescent Provider

Dear SAHM members:

I am writing to you as Paritosh, who just happens to be the president of our organization.

I have been processing the information regarding the Supreme Court ruling since it was announced. I was aware of the leaked document so I shouldn’t have been surprised. I was. It was a punch to the gut, in my office, a text…did you hear? And I went into action mode: created a to-do list, wrote emails and texts, set up meetings. A significant part of me went back to life as usual.

I have had to process this information on multiple levels: personally, the guy I am, the father, the husband, the brother. Professionally, my Ob/Gyn experience, an adolescent medicine provider where the service is illegal, a division head and the president of SAHM.

Let’s start with the personal. Saying I was upset wouldn’t capture the emotions, I would have to share some strong language, possibly in Hindi, which could capture it better. I felt despondent, powerless and swept by a wave of sadness. How are we creating a space for our adolescents? How will our work survive? What is the legacy we are leaving? And is this how we are paying forward what the giants of adolescent health advocated and worked so hard for?

As a professional, I got emails and texts from SAHM colleagues, checking in to see if I need resources for my patients, how I was doing, and what SAHM was doing. I also had to connect with the legal department to ensure we were adherent to the statue.

Even though I am an extrovert, I shy away from advocacy issues. I am in awe of all the advocacy gurus that we have in our midst, who speak for us, effectively and eloquently. And I tell myself, “Paritosh, they are working on the statement, while you are working on unwinding your emotions and going through Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief.”

So, I decided to write and be authentic and vulnerable, for this will set me free. Allow me to be the best Paritosh, so that I can serve my AYA patients and our organization.

To all of you who might be going through some of these emotions, reach out to someone, in your personal or professional area, and here in SAHM.

Please take time to process the emotions and give yourself strength.

To all of you who are reading this, I appreciate you. Your passion, your care and your concern remind me that I am NOT alone. I am not alone, and neither are our AYA.

With Gratitude,

Paritosh
Paritosh Kaul, MD, FSAHM